I attend a psychodrama group for almost a year and I have been in individual therapy for nine years with some breaks.
But only a week ago, during one session, I realized a very important aspect of psychodrama and why this was so necessary in my healing process.
In individual therapy, though I had other wounds to heal and my therapist was an excellent professional, I reached a wall and didn’t know why it wasn’t working anymore.
But in that psychodrama day I realized the reason, while listening to the painful stories and the psychological blockages of my colleagues. So I want to share it with you now.
I know, now, that during the 7 years of personal therapy, I’ve constantly felt miserable and full of issues, while my therapist seemed flawless, she was always perfect.
I finally get why, when I ended therapy with her, and she told me she had divorced the previous year, I felt lied to, betrayed.
[ut_highlight color=”#ff6e00″] For me, who worked so much on divorce issues, it would have been so important to know she was experiencing the same thing, during those therapy sessions.
I would’ve perceived her as a human being and not unconsciously idealize her.
During the last part of my therapy, I would’ve worked a lot better if she had opened up a bit, showing me not only what she did better, but her mistakes and the way she coped.
That is exactly what’s happening at every psychodrama session, when I see so many wonderful people around, each having his/her problems, which are harder and more painful than my own.
I don’t feel so miserable anymore, like I’m the only crazy one, the problem-patient, I feel like a human among other humans, equals in pain and misery, and, sometimes, I even feel lucky when considering my colleagues’ traumas.
This is a one and only experience that I’ve felt only in psychodrama, working weekly together with my friends in misery.
I realized an interesting point – under the influence of both Irvin Yalom and my unconscious and unfulfilled need in my personal therapy, I find important that, in relation with my clients, I show my mistakes, so as to get down of the pedestal (the one they tend to put me on).
They don’t have to idealize me, to see me as perfect and untouchable, but to see me as I am, sometimes fulfilled, sometimes worse than them.
They need to understand that I had and still have a lot of problems, and that I can manage some better, and some worse than they do.
Funny thing, by bending the outdated rules of psychoanalysis, by being authentic and sincere, my clients end our meetings with more confidence and power to move on.
Did you have a similar experience? What did you learn?